Title: A Reflection Deluded
By: Bridget McKennitt
Pairing: John/Dean, Sam
Word Count: 681
Contains: Implied underage
Summary: He was glad to do what he could for his family, because he knew he had limitations and there was only so much he could do. This was something he could do.
Disclaimer: Supernatural is owned by Eric Kripke and other companies. They are used here without permission, and for entertainment purposes only. No challenge or infringement upon the copyright is intended, nor should any be inferred.
It wasn't like that. It wasn't. Dean knew about incest and pressure from the classes he took at school. Sure, he barely finished high school, but he wasn't stupid. What he and his father did wasn't wrong, it wasn't, and it certainly was not hurting him.
Dean knew real pain. Knew the feel of claws ripping down his chest or the suspended moment of horror as a Striga leaned down to suck away his brother's soul. Dean grew up knowing what real pain was, and the comfort he gave his father after a hunt, long after Sammy had gone to bed, was not pain. Not even close.
It started with kisses. Light, butterfly kisses because his father was alone in the living room and silent tears ran down his face. Dean was too young to understand why his father was crying, or maybe not, and he wanted to make his father feel better. Dean took care of Sammy, Sammy first and always, but John was part of the family too and Dean knew all he had left was family.
It never went further than sloppy hand jobs and an aborted blowjob Dean tried to give John on his most recent birthday. John woke up to Dean's lips wrapped around him and promptly kicked him off the bed.
Dean never tried anything like that again.
But it wasn't anything wrong, no more than anything else in his life, and it was one of Dean's many duties to the family. He was glad to do what he could for his family, because he knew he had limitations and there was only so much he could do.
This was something he could do.
There was one rule though, an unspoken one, and it was that Sam was never supposed to know. Sam had always been an unruly, sullen child, at least when it came to family, and Dean never knew what Sammy would say if he knew what he did with John. Probably would have left the family even faster.
It worked, for a time. Sam grew up, didn't realize what his brother and father did in the dark, and Sam went off to college. Even after Dean pulled Sam from another fire, after they hit the road looking for John, Sam did not know.
Then a couple of days ago, Sam found out. Dean is still uncertain how Sam learned of it. It wasn't like his brother walked in on the two of them giving each other a hand job. John was still nowhere to be found.
Dean kept his expression blank while Sam yelled at him, watching his brother pace to and fro.
"Why, Dean? Why? Are you so starved for attention that you'd allow dad to do this to you?" Sam got in his face and Dean fought not take a step back. He always forgot just how tall his younger brother really was. "You idiot."
Dean wasn't stupid, he wasn't. Sammy just didn't understand.
He looked at Sam's flushed cheeks and bright eyes, and forced himself to look away. If he thought Sam leaving for college broke his heart, then Sam leaving over this was going to tear him into pieces.
A warm hand gently turned him back to face Sam. This time there was a cautious look on his brother's face.
"I-I'm not happy you and dad hid this from me or the fact that it even happened. But Dean, I'm not angry at you. And I'm not leaving either. Someone has to watch your stupid ass."
Dean's lips twitched despite himself. He also ignored the heavy weight lifted from somewhere in the pit of his stomach at Sammy's words that he wasn't leaving.
"But no more, okay? No more of what you did with dad. I swear, Dean, if he touches you, I'm going to..." Sam trailed off as he bit his lower lip.
Dean was okay with Sam's ultimatum. Their father always said Sammy first and always, and Sam was his responsibility.
John was a big boy now. Now it was Sam who needed him the most.
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