Title: An Impossible Dream Of A Tattered Heart
By: Bridget McKennitt
Pairing: unrequited Arthur/Gwen/Lancelot
Rating: G
Word Count: 776
Summary: Her heart was breaking and Gwen didn't know until that moment that her heart could shatter into tinier pieces than it already had.
Contains: No warnings in as far I know that can't be extrapolated from the header itself. 2.04 Lancelot and Guinevere coda
Disclaimer: Merlin is owned by other companies. They are used here without permission, and for entertainment purposes only. No challenge or infringement upon the copyright is intended, nor should any be inferred.
Her heart was breaking and Gwen didn't know until that moment that her heart could shatter into tinier pieces than it already had. Merlin tried to give her a reassuring smile, but it couldn't salvage the hurt that Lancelot left her. He was a good man who saved her life, and she would have been honored if their mutual feelings for each other went further.
Lancelot left because of Arthur, because he knew that Arthur may have feelings for her. It was a noble gesture, one she knew Lancelot couldn't help but make in order to serve his future king, but it was a futile effort. Arthur couldn't do any more than that surprising kiss in her home because she was a servant and he was a prince. There was no future for them together. She knew that. She was a sensible girl and no matter how Arthur's smile made her heart beat faster, there was nothing in the world that could change the fact of who she was and who he was.
Rejected by Arthur, for good reasons, and now rejected by Lancelot, for noble reasons. It was enough to make a girl want to cry.
Gwen plastered on a smile as she rode back to Camelot with Merlin and Arthur and tried to put both men out of her mind. She had her own home and a position she enjoyed with a mistress who loved her as a dear friend.
She was alive and loved. She was blessed.
Yet when Gwen went to bed that night and dreamed her dreams, it was of impossible dreams. She was dressed in the finest wedding gown she had ever seen on anyone and there were plenty of people in the hall celebrating her nuptials. Lancelot was adorned in knight gear and he was smiling at her.
Suddenly, Arthur appeared at her side. He took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing her bare skin. She shivered.
"May I have this dance, milady?" he asked and she said yes.
Arthur took her in his arms and the crowd backed away enough so they could dance. She felt safe and loved.
"In a few days, we will have a ceremony so you will be crowned queen. My queen, Guinevere. I love you."
"I love you, Arthur." She felt as if she was choking on the words, fear still laced in her voice because their love could never be open. She couldn't believe this was real, that she could say them where other people could hear her.
The room faded to Arthur's chambers and his bed looked bigger than it normally did. Arthur was shirtless and Gwen felt the naughtiest urge come over her to run her hands over his chest.
"I've been waiting for this day for a long time." He offered his hand to her and Gwen took it. "I hope you don't mind that I invited someone to our bed."
Gwen heard a noise behind her and she gasped at the sight of Lancelot. "Milord?" she asked, turning back towards Arthur.
"Please, we're married now, Guinevere. Call me Arthur. Do you not like your wedding present? I thought you would enjoy it."
Gwen licked her lips to give herself a few precious moments to think. "I do not understand what exactly my wedding present is."
Arthur grinned as if he was pleased with himself. "I know how Lancelot feels for you and while you do not love him as you love me, I know you have feelings for him. As do I. I thought it would be a grand idea if, on our wedding night, we shared ourselves with Lancelot."
Her eyes widened and she didn't know what to say. What else could she say that didn't sound insulting to Arthur or Lancelot. She loved them both and she didn't want to hurt either of them. Camelot would not stand for their union, as much as she longed for to just say yes. She wasn't sure how they would take to her becoming Arthur's bride and queen.
Just as she opened her mouth, she found herself awake in her bed. Gwen rubbed her face with her palm, trying to shake off the web-like strands of an impossible dream.
"Get a hold of yourself, Gwen," she whispered to herself. "That is a dream better left forgotten. You cannot have either man, let alone the both of them." Still, when she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, she wished that her life would someday resemble what she had dreamt. It would be lovely to have someone love her the way she wanted to be loved.
