Title: Saving Myself
By: Bridget McKennitt
Character: Sam Winchester
Word Count: 272
Challenge: supernatural100's prompt denial
Contains: No warnings in as far I know that can't be extrapolated from the header itself. Spoilers for up to 5.02
Disclaimer: Supernatural is owned by Eric Kripke and other companies. They are used here without permission, and for entertainment purposes only. No challenge or infringement upon the copyright is intended, nor should any be inferred.
Sam consoles himself that despite their separation, Dean does not hate him. Dean can't hate him, not his baby brother he went to hell for. Someday, they will hunt together and be as close as they were when they were younger, but not now. Not today.
He thanks the driver as the guy drops him off in some nameless town, somewhere far away from the Impala and Dean and home. He needs this, needs to learn how to make it on his own without giving into his inner demons. If he can't stand strong on his own two feet, then there's no point in going any further.
Getting himself under control is a lot harder than going through the forced detox Bobby and Dean put him through. Not physically, his stomach isn't cramping in pain and he's not getting bruised and beaten by hallucinations, but it hurts just the same, just as deep. He cannot bear to be near demons or blood, because both tempt him still. Sam still has anger issues and deep seated rage, things War would love to sink his teeth into.
It hurts, but Sam fights through it because he knows he cannot go back to Dean a broken man. At the very least, not a weak link in the Winchester chain since him being damaged feels like a Winchester right of passage. They were all broken, including his mom.
Sam wakes up one morning and breathes in deep. He's not as angry as before and blood tempts him less. His personal sickness is still within him, still snarling at him, but everything is diminished.
He is stronger.
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